katlefiya's Diaryland Diary

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killer

I find it necessary for my life to fall apart every once in a while. After all, chaos becomes order becomes chaos becomes order. Perhaps the impression that time is linear is simply an illusion, and really we're in a giant neverending loop. Does the song ever get old?
For too long I have played the strong one. It's time for me to smash my ego into a million shards, to wallow in the self-loathing peices before putting them back together again.
They say when you kill something a part of your soul rips off. If mine does, will I be able to keep the tatter?
Choices. Sophie's choice. Paradoxes. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I don't believe in hell, but I believe in torment. Am I causing myself this pain so that I can understand lost souls better? Or do I have to fulfill some sort of quota?

6:03 p.m. - 2005-08-04

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