katlefiya's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By the Gods This is my life. I'm employed by the government. I didn't really see my life going this way. Is this the way it's going to continue? Am I going to turn into some responsible adult "bitch to the man"? I have to watch what I do now. Any minor infraction of the law could put my future in jeopardy. Ha! I'm sorry I didn't buy you drugs over the internet with my credit card, Owen. I once had these great aspirations to save the world from itself. I was going to become powerful and heroic and teach all the bad bad people in the world that what they were doing is wrong. It happened just after I got back from a drug frenzied hippy music festival. It lasted about a week. There's this great old Kenyan proverb that goes something like "Treat the Earth well. It was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children." I've since decided that the world will sort itself out in one way or another. But is that just laziness? Am I just copping out like another member of the opiate masses? Somebody once told me that I was one of those people that could do anything if I put my mind to it. Could it be true or would I be convincing myself to turn into one of those crazy people that yell at you on the street. When you look into their eyes you see all their passion and conviction that you feel you would use to get SOMEWHERE. But you'll end up just like them, maybe. Maybe in order to heal the world you have to do it one person at a time. But some people don't want to be healed, or you aren't the one meant to heal them. blechh. I broke up my brothers party last night. When I came there were all these drunken punks everywhere. Not that I have anything against punks, except that they all look at me like an insult to their existence. They're trying to get away from all the intolerance of other people, and then they do the exact same thing. To me. But that's beside the point. Owen let the party get way out of hand. And then when he couldn't do anything about it he begged me to take action. I wasn't particularly angry when I screamed at them all to get out of my house. I just felt that it was the right thing to do. I stood around trying to look mean, and it worked. I felt bad because there were some really decent people there that didn't need to go. The cops weren't called on the house, just the fight that broke out on the neighbors lawn. And there was a helicopter circling the house shining a searchlight on us. I felt so unbelievably relieved to get to my own home and curl up in my warm bed with my love. 11:41 a.m. - 2004-03-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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